Yep... This is it.

This guy is in a band.  It's called, "Angry about Magic Cards."

Gravlax

This is what comes to mind.

Foresight

People thought I was cruel when I gave my child hammer-hands.  Then the crabs came...

WTF Little Drummer Boy?

Worst. Gift. Ever.

Some days...

All you can do is sit in your hole and shake your fist at the sky.